Yummy Kombucha and Kale Smoothies

Adventures in Herbalism by Linda

Red kale, blueberries and cherries blend to make a purple smoothie.

   Today we take a step back from the indulgence of the past three weeks. Yes, it's true, even for the Salvation Sisters, three cocktail recipes in a row is bordering on excess at the end of our Sistercation adventure. This week we will journey back to the land of healthy and sensible eating. You may even consider my Kombucha and Kale Smoothie innovative... a revelation if you will. What cannot be disputed, is that it provides a nutritional power punch. Give it a try, and you may find the results are just what you are in search of, as Michelle and I did recently.

   A few weeks ago we had an event at my Whole Foods Market called "The Vitamix Roadshow". Watching the Vitamix Man whip up smoothie after smoothie which he sampled out to customers, gave me a renewed interest in getting my own Vitamix out of semi-retirement, and using it on a daily basis. Raise your hand if your are someone who is not getting your daily servings of things like kale and fresh spinach. How about your whole fresh fruit (not juice)? According to an article by Roxanne Webber published in the blog CHOW, over 90% of us do not get our recommended 2.5 cups of vegetables or our 2 cups of fresh fruit per day. Embarrassingly, I was in that majority, and I resolved to change my ways.
   In planning out my smoothie recipe, I knew that I wanted to include fresh fruit, kale and spinach, but I was hesitant about what liquid to add to the mix to aid the blending of the ingredients. The Vitamix Man just added water. I thought I could do better. I wanted to keep my smoothie dairy free and I did not want to add fruit juice because of the high sugar content. In the end I chose to add Kombucha, and I will explain why in a bit.

Prepping the kale.

   The benefits of fresh fruits are widely known, and they are in a word delicious, and yet the research shows we still fail to get our recommended daily servings. But as for the tough and chewy, slightly bitter and hyper-green kale... why should we eat it? The simple answer is that kale is considered to be, ounce for ounce, the most nutritious vegetable on the planet. Not only is it a treasure trove of Vitamins A, B, C and K, but it also provides a plentiful profile of trace minerals like calcium and iron. It also contains powerful antioxidant compounds such as lutein and zeaxanthin. As an added bonus, the high fiber content of cruciferous kale binds bile acids and helps lower blood cholesterol levels. There is mounting evidence that eating cruciferous vegetables with their high Vitamin K content and powerful antioxidant profile helps reduce our risk of dying from cancer. These same benefits, in my opinion, cannot be gained by swallowing a multitvitamin pill daily. Getting our nutrients from food is what our bodies are designed to do. This is why I use herbal supplements. They come from plants...they are food. Which brings us to Kombucha.
   Kombucha is a fermented tea drink that has centuries of history behind its consumption all over the world. The fermenting process combines tea (an herbal drink) with Kombucha cultures, which are a combination of different strains of yeast. The fermentation process creates beneficial enzymes and bacteria (probiotics) and a whole host of beneficial compounds. It is also low calorie and low in natural sugars. There has been a "kombucha craze" of sorts over the past few years. It has been a renaissance of epic proportions, and at Whole Foods Market we sell cases upon cases of the beverage on a daily basis.


Michelle's favorite flavor is Pomegranate.

   An added benefit to the Kombucha and Kale Smoothie, is that it provides a completely raw meal. This means that along with the minerals, vitamins and plentiful antioxidants being consumed, this shake provides raw enzymes. Our bodies and our immune systems all function based on a complicated series of processes that involve using enzymes as catalysts. Cooking our food harms most of the enzyme activity in foods. Thus, millions of dollars are spent on acid reflux products, which only treat the symptoms of the problem, they do not cure it. Starting off your day with a drink packed full of raw enzymes contributes to your body's healthy functioning for the rest of the day. You feel more alert and have more energy, as a result of your body functioning better. The smoothie is replenishing fuel, literally concentrated with sunshine, which is what plants convert and store into their cells.

   The Kombucha and Kale Smoothie is now my breakfast and afternoon snack five days per week. I take five minutes in the morning (really, that is all of the time required), and I drink half while I am getting ready for work, and the other half I pack with me to work in a thermos to have mid-afternoon.
   Michelle became an advocate almost immediately when I suggested it to her after I began drinking it for a few weeks. She was delighted with the great taste, because it is actually delicious and refreshing, and much to her amazement, according to Weight Watchers Point System, the smoothie equals only one point! Having the smoothie for breakfast has allowed her extra points for things like a glass of wine with dinner, which made her really, really happy.
   As for me, I no longer have to listen to that naggy little voice in my head. The one that reminds me that the lettuce on my sandwich does not qualify as a serving of dark leafy greens, and that those four grapes I snagged from the sample bag in the produce department earlier in the day, does not equal my two cup requirement of fresh fruit. Give this refreshing smoothie a try and see what you think.

Products We Love: Vitamix

by Michelle


My sweet, sweet Vitamix 5200.

----- Original Message ----
From: Juliette
To: Michelle; Linda
Sent: Wed, August 26, 2009 1:53 PM
Subject: Vitamix!

I just bought this Vitamix 5000 at the thrift shop for $75!!!! Yeah!!! I just checked eBay and these babies are selling from $400 to $600 used. Mine works and is complete with everything including two containers, one for wet ingredients and one for dry ingredients. It's in great condition! Wahoo!


The deal of the century - everything included for $75.00.

----- Original Message ----
From: Linda
To: Juliette
Cc: Michelle
Sent: Wednesday, August 26, 2009 2:13 PM
Subject: RE: Vitamix!

Wow! I paid $400 for mine, and I only have one blender container... Michelle doesn't swoon when we use it, like I do. You will love it! Congrats... you got a SMOKIN' deal.

----- Original Message ----
From: Juliette Beaumont
To: Linda; Michelle
Sent: Wednesday, August 26, 2009 9:25 PM
Subject: Re: more on my new baby

What? Did you buy yours new?

*****

   Yes, Juliette... Linda and I bought our Vitamix's new. Of course we did. Only the Thrift Mistress Juliette can find a complete Vitamix ensemble for a mere $75. I about fell off my chair when I received her e-mail. Juliette is the thrift store whisperer. Seriously. She is drawn to the good stuff as if it is calling to her. And, I'm not poking fun. I've been the grateful recipient of many items Juliette has found over the years. She finds the coolest stuff.

Making pizza sauce in the Vitamix.

   This past Sunday Linda posted this comment on our Dad's wall, "There are so many good things that you taught me...a love of tools and the importance of having the right tool for the job, of doing the job right the first time, the value of being self-sufficient, not to be afraid to be intelligent and not accept consensus reality. My love of plants and gardening started with you, and you taught me that a hard day's work can feel good, and to get by in this world with integrity you need to have a spine of steel. Thanks, Dad, and I wish you a very happy Father's Day."
   Juliette tagged on, "I remember many, many trips to junk yards and the hardware store (the one with the big cat that was always asleep on the counter). Stopping for an ice cream cone on the way home. Thanks for letting me have access to your well appointed workshop at such an early age - I still have all my fingers! Your focus on vocabulary and logic have also been things that have proved to be priceless. Love you Dad, have a great day!"
   Dad wrote, "Juliette, you were a natural with tools from an early age. The memory that stands out in my mind the most was checking on what you were doing one day to discover you were pounding on something with a big hammer and using the cast iron top of my table saw as an anvil... LOL." 

Our Dad playing chess with Linda's identical twin sons on a family camping trip.

   I chipped in with my two cents, "One of the things I really appreciate was logic building exercises through playing games like checkers and chess. At a very young age you helped me to understand strategy, to plan the movement of game pieces, to perceive what the other player might be planning. Being able to anticipate actions and visualize what something will look like in my head before moving forward with a plan is something that has served me very well in both my personal and professional life and is something I'm trying to pass on to my own daughter. Thanks for all the one-on-one attention, Dad. P.S.: I still get great pleasure from the antique buffet and armoir that we repaired and refinished together. Knowing to do things and working with my hands is very satisfying."
   It's official. The Salvation Sisters love their tools and we were taught the value of the right tool for the right job at a very young age. The Vitamix is the King - or is that the Queen - of blenders. It has power and variable speed control... up to 240 mph to fully blend ingredients. But wait, that's not all. The magic machine will chip, blend, cream, grind, knead, churn, emulsify, crush, whisk, frappé, purée, powder, whip... and, it practically cleans itself in seconds. The full 7-year warranty is pretty great, too.
   If I wasn't swooning over Linda's Vitamix, I'm certainly swooning over mine, especially when I make my Yummy Kombucha and Kale Smoothie just about every morning!

*****

This just in to put the figurative icing on the cake:

----- Original Message ----
From: Juliette
To: Michelle; linda
Sent: Fri, June 24, 2011 10:16 PM
Subject: Re: First draft: Products We Love: Vitamix

I know I told one of you (must have been Linda) that my girls were complaining that the old Waring blender (also a thrift shop find for $3) had finally succumbed to age and abuse, and I needed to get a new one so they could make smoothies. I said there was a $600 mixer sitting on the counter, and gestured impatiently toward the Vitamix. They looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.
   "We tried using that one, but it doesn't work very good" they whined. What? Are you f^%#ing kidding me? This by the way, would aptly be the epitaph on my headstone. I pose this question, somewhere, somehow, for a gazillion different reasons every single day of my life. Perhaps I will create my own urn in ceramics class this fall, with my mantra permanently emblazoned on the surface - vitrified for all eternity. I digress...
   After whipping up several batches of perfect hummus, many pints of smoothies, and actually grinding whole wheat flour in my Vitamix, I wasn't going to let anyone put my Baby in the corner! Like any good mother I made Avalon demonstrate her smoothie skills in the Vitamix. She was not adding enough liquid. End of story. Vitamix 1 - Avalon 0! It is clear that my children don't share my aptitude for a good tool.

Sistercation: Las Vegas, Part Three

A Sisters' Writing Trilogy, Part Three by Juliette

The lobby of the Palazzo.

"Shut up and put your money where your mouth is... that's what you get for waking up in Vegas." ~Katy Perry

Who Pooped in the Park?
The Adventure of the Salvation Sisters in Sin City

   People tell me time and time again how much they enjoy the "sisters" aspect of our blog. It is true that we enjoy an unusually close relationship and share similar interests. Aside from the years we lived together as children, we have also lived together as adults in different combinations for varying periods of time in scattered locations.
   We love and respect each other deeply, but just like all close relationships of the human variety, there are also times when we drive each other completely batty. Our saving grace and the one thing that can always unite us at the end of a tense day is that we share the same warped and wicked sense of humor. Sometimes all it takes is for one silly phrase to be spoken and we break out in unanimous laughter. “Who Pooped in the Park?” is now one of those, and I will explain shortly…

   Linda is bossy, I am stubborn, and Michelle does her best to avoid conflict altogether. Probably has something to do with our birth order and our astrological afflictions. The Sistercation began with Linda's Layered Cosmos in the room, dinner out, and a nightcap back in the room (admiring the fabulous view) while deciding who was sleeping where. Linda and Michelle agreed to share one of the beds to avoid my random snoring and restlessness.
   That first night Michelle and Linda were still going strong when I decided to test the bed and once I was horizontal it was all over. I was exhausted from my week of working double time to prepare for my week away. I was fading fast and nearly asleep when I hear Michelle say sweetly, "Ju-li-ette, I noticed that you haven't brushed your teeth." What? Are you f*%&ing kidding me? I do not respond. I had not brushed my teeth, but mostly I am confused as to why she cares since she is not sharing the bed with me.

Me and my pearly whites that Michelle frets over.

   The thought of removing myself from the incredibly comfortable bed, rummaging through my 1950s – no joke – no wheels suitcase to find my toothbrush and toothpaste and tottering off to the bathroom is too much to contend with. Frankly my dears, at that point in time, the last thing I give a damn about is fuzzy teeth. I ignore Michelle and let myself slip away to dreamland. I'm not sure how much time has passed when I am awakened by Linda saying, "Juliette, Michelle told me to remind you that you still haven't brushed your teeth!" Clearly this vacation is not going the way I have imagined it. This is not my beautiful life!
   These sisterly antics transport me back in time to a trip we made with the whole famn-damily from Los Angeles to Alaska when I was nine years old. All six of us where packed into our new Volkswagon bus, with Michelle being potty trained along the way, by being plopped on an enameled pot wedged between my mother's feet on the floor of the front seat.
 

More snaps of the Neon Museum.

   To complete the hippies from suburbia scenario, my dad attached a section of a very large cardboard box (that happened to feature the logo of some toilet paper company) across the front of the bus to provide protection from being splattered by the swarms of myriad insects and rocks flung up by trucks. The Alcan Highway was not paved yet and yes, I am dating myself.
   One of the things I remember most clearly about that trip is that Linda drove me insane by tapping me on the shoulder every half hour or so (THE ENTIRE TRIP - up and back), asking in her most annoying feigned English accent, "Pardon me boy, is this the Chattanooga Choo-Choo?" The lyric was pulled from a popular song in its day by The Glenn Miller Band, a favorite of our Nana & Papa’s... in 1941!!! Why it struck Linda's fancy almost 30 years after its heyday is a mystery to me, but it did serve to drive me completely nuts, which I believe was her objective.

The famous Dale Chihuly glass sculpture in Bellagio's lobby is stunning.

   Our current sisterly exchange also invoked many a long Christmas Eve when I would struggle to fall asleep because I was excited about opening gifts on Christmas morning, only to be awakened by Linda asking me in a stage whisper from the adjoining bed, "Juliette, are you asleep?" There were many times I would have happily strangled Linda in my youth and there were a few occasions on the Vegas trip when thoughts of "Sistercide" were tempting as well.
   Seven days with just my sisters in Las Vegas was something I had looked forward to for months! No children, no husbands, no pets... just the three of us! Wahoo! This was my first trip to Vegas, and I was not sure what to expect. People seem to love it or hate it, but everyone agrees that it is something to see.

   Therein lies the dilemma for three sisters... what to see that all three of us can agree on. Or what and where to eat, for that matter. Linda and Michelle's predilections run the Igo way, meaning they enjoy refinement, demand cleanliness, gourmet fare, and top of the line entertainment. Me, not so much. I am happier munching fish tacos in a dirt floored palapa in Mexico next to the beach, than dining at a fancy resort. My reasoning is both meals will vacate my body the following day and I can think of many fun ways to spend the Benjamin Franklin I saved. I am always constrained by a tight budget, but even if I wasn't, it is unlikely I would change my frugal habits. While we share the same blood, it is clear that mine runs the Beaumont / Smith / Godwin way. Simple is as simple does.


The wild bunch a.k.a. the Godwin siblings. Great grandmother is second from left.

  I am happy that I finally made it to Las Vegas, but I can assure you with some certainty (although nothing is EVER completely certain in Juliette World) that I will never go back. For better or for worse, I am the type of person that gets annoyed when asked if I want to be seated outside or inside at some over-priced and over-rated restaurant on the strip, when it is clearly ALL indoors. A tromp l'oeil ceiling overhead that has been painted to look like a sky does not substitute for al fresco in my book. If I am paying $50 for a steak dinner I expect my steak to be more than a half inch thick, cooked to order, and taste good. The consistently overly inflated prices, horrible service, and mediocre food made me yearn for an evening at Cafe Roka in Bisbee where I can enjoy a delectable four-course meal fit for royalty for under $30. 

The Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace

   I did enjoy one of the top ten cocktails of my life, a Blood Orange Cosmo at B&B Ristorante that is a collaboration between culinary rock stars Mario Batali and Joe Bastianich. As Linda was quick to point out, for a $15 cocktail that earned Mario Batali's stamp of approval, it sure as hell should be fabulous. I can't say we enjoyed anything else about our experience there since the service was poor (and slow), the music was horrible (too much Led Zeppelin, too loud, and completely out of sync with the venue) and for Michelle’s entrée, a dollop of Pasta Bolognese served with one slice of cold bread that ran up the bill another $35 on top of the $45 for three Cosmos. Ouch! We now refer to the restaurant as B$B.
   Las Vegas is not the place to be if you can't suspend reality for any length of time (or resent paying $4 for a bottle of filtered tap water). It would seem that I am my father's daughter after-all: when confronted with the spectacle of Vegas in all its hooey, gooey, cheesy glory, my head is filled with practical questions... How many people does this casino employ? Where do they park? How do they move the cranes to the upper floors of these monstrous buildings for construction? How do they pump concrete 60 stories high? How many workmen’s comp claims are filed here each year? How much do they pay the people that wash the windows? Why does the monorail transit the exterior of the city, instead of the interior (um, can you say "poor planning")? How many gallons of water are used per day in this desert city? Linda's friend Richard has said that Vegas will make one hell of a ghost town one day, and I have to agree. Las Vegas is clearly not sustainable.

The Fremont Street Experience. 

   In the end, aside from the time spent with my sisters, there were a few things that will help me remember Las Vegas fondly:
• The Neon Museum is a treasure trove of vintage Vegas neon signs. Hands down it was the best value for my money at $15, a suggested donation, and all for a worthy cause. If you plan to visit, make sure you have reservations!
• The Fremont Street Experience is more fun and funky than the strip and it is where all of the great neon that Vegas is known for lives! Sexy DJ's dressed in bikinis wearing Yeti boots, Motown cover bands, break dancing boys, celebrity look-alikes, and a zip-line that runs the length of the LED canopy provide fabulous people watching and photo ops at every turn. The experience is free (except for the cab ride it will take to get you there and back) and perhaps to give a few well earned tips to the entertainers!

The Cosmopolitan

• The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf provides great service, and delivers a damn fine cuppa Joe! Quality, consistency, and affordability that seemed remarkably lacking almost everywhere else.
• Magnificent chandeliers (anywhere and everywhere) - especially The Cosmopolitan, which was a virtual spider-web of lead crystal splendor!
• The Filet Mignon meatballs at Trattoria Reggiano in the Venetian had come highly recommended by my friend Sloane. The waiter, however, proved to be an indolent loser. The dining arrangement was lackluster and cramped, but all of the food was wonderful - especially those meatballs! A Las Vegas bargain for a mere $18.

   One of our last outings on the sistercation was a trip to Red Rocks Canyon. Our first stop is at the visitor's center. We stop in the gift shop, and soon I hear Linda and Michelle laughing about something. I wander over to see that the source of their amusement is a copy of the now infamous book, "Who Pooped in the Park?" I did not realize at that moment how prophetic that question would prove for me within the hour.
   Red Rocks Canyon has a scenic drive of 12 miles that loops around the park. Our trip begins with Linda teetering on the edge of road rage because all of the cars are zipping by us like we are standing still. "How are they enjoying the views when they are driving at that speed?" she yells – her knuckles white on the steering wheel. Linda’s lips are tight, her brow is creased and this drive is not looking to be a lot of fun. Linda kept repeating, “If people want to be on a scenic drive, that they had to pay for, why do they act like it’s the Indianapolis 500?”

   Not more than a mile into our tour my intestines begin sending signals of distress. Linda pulls off at a view point to take some photos and I begrudgingly decide I better pay a visit to the pit toilet. Have I mentioned that a brisk wind was blowing like crazy? That cold bitter wind found its way into the vents of the primitive toilet and blasted my exposed parts as I sat stranded for a good 15 minutes. I entertained myself with visions of trying to explain to an ER staff why my privates were suffering from frost bite. Naturally, once I returned to the car the "Who Pooped in the Park?" jokes began emitting from my two lovely, caring sisters.
   Periodically Linda would squeal elatedly as she caught a view of some random blossom barely visible to the naked eye as we drove by. She would pull quickly off the road and jump excitedly out of the car with her camera in hand. I sat with my eyes rolling and intestines rumbling while she recorded each tiny freaking miracle of nature for posterity.

   Much to Linda’s disbelief, I was completely underwhelmed by Red Rocks Canyon. I live in the high desert between the Dragoons and the Chiricahuas which make Red Rocks look like a tired and uninspired afterthought of Mother Nature. Don't get me wrong... I enjoy the flora of the desert as much as anyone, however I tend to get more worked up over the more showy specimens like Mexican Bird of Paradise, Penstemon, Verbena, and Datura. Of course none of these were viable in that low desert wasteland and feeling like I might crap in my pants at any moment did not help with my appreciation of these stunted blossoms.
   Finally, about halfway through the drive I begin to feel better. Michelle has checked out, perhaps from boredom or to avoid the palpable tension hanging in the air, and is fast asleep in the blissful warming oven of the front seat. I am slouched in the back seat feeling deflated and weak. Linda continues on, stopping every 100 yards or so to take pictures, and seems to be enjoying herself more than reasonably can be expected. I had no idea she was enjoying herself so much that she would have the audacity to propose another go round through the park. Oh, hell no! This is when I told her, apparently in my Grandma Elsie voice, that if that was her intention, I would get out of the car, lie down in front of it, and she could run me over. I was not joking. A sistercation altercation was narrowly bypassed, along with the dreaded second loop through the park, when Linda made the wise decision to steer the car towards the strip.
  And that, Gentle Reader, is the end of my story. All was not perfect, but we had fun and a rare week of togetherness. If someone asks "Who Pooped in the Park?" it is certain that we will all laugh heartily and remember our adventures in Sin City fondly!


Three golden - perhaps lucky - pears at The Encore.

Blood Orange Cosmopolitan

by Linda

   Juliette proclaimed that this was the best Cosmo that she has ever tasted, and having been a bartender until just recently in her past I paid heed, as did Michelle. We all agreed the cocktail was pretty darn fantastic. When we sipped this cocktail together at Mario Batali's bar in the B&B Ristorante at The Palazzo, we decided we would need to recreate it at home. When asked about the blood orange juice in the ingredient list the bartender had recited off to us, he told us that he used a blood orange concentrate... end of story.   
   Upon returning home, Michelle found the blood orange concentrate from a company in Napa. We procrastinated, not wanting to have to order it on-line because of the stiff shipping charges. Quite simply, the concentrate is frozen and must stay frozen during shipping which requires overnight delivery.
   Needless to say, I was very pleased when The Perfect Purée of Napa Valley turned up in the freezer section of my Whole Foods Market last week. Not only did I buy the blood orange purée, I also picked up strawberry, white peach and passion fruit purées which I will keep on hand for other uses. If you are someone who thinks that a Cosmopolitan is just too sweet, here is your less sweet Cosmo.

Blood Orange Cosmopolitan

   "Made from 100% blood oranges, this classic Sicilian fruit ingredient offers a rich deep orange-red color and citrus flavor base perfect for cocktails, vinaigrette and gourmet desserts. It provides an aromatic, intense citrus flavor without diluting a recipe." ~The Perfect Purée of Napa Valley

   This is our recreation of the recipe from the ingredient list which was revealed to us at B&B Ristorante. It makes two small martinis.

3/4 cup Ketel One® Citroen Vodka
1/4 cup Cointreau Liqueur
1 Tbsp blood orange concentrate
juice from one large lime

Procedure:
1. Dissolve the frozen blood orange concentrate in the fresh lime juice, and then pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Add ice. Shake vigorously and strain into two martini glasses; discard ice. Garnish as desired and serve immediately.

Linda's Yelp review on our Sistercation visit to B&B Ristorante in the Grand Canal Shoppes at the Venetian: 

   During our recent stay in Las Vegas, my sister, Michelle, had not eaten after a long day at a convention where she was an exhibitor. Since we three sisters were staying at The Palazzo, I had been eyeing B&B Ristorante, being that we are all huge fans of Mario Batali. In summary, the experience was so poor that it will be memorable. Since Michelle was the only one ordering food (Juliette and I had eaten earlier in the evening), we decided to sit at the bar. To begin with, the restaurant hostess refused to seat us at one of the small tables at the entrance which were all vacant. So we obliged her and sat at the bar. We were handed menus, and then left to wait—a very long time—without being acknowledged by the young bespectacled hipster bartender with hair pulled back into a tiny ponytail who managed to acknowledge and take orders from all of the men who sat at the bar after us. Led Zeppelin's Greatest Hits were blaring overhead ( I kid you not!). After we were finally able to order Michelle's entrée and our drinks, we were left to wait for probably at least a good 30 minutes before our Blood Orange Cosmos appeared with the glass of wine that Michelle ordered to go with her Bolognese Paparadelle. In retrospect, this should have been our cue to walk out, but being to tired from a long day of trudging around the strip we were all too exhausted to take action, get fired up and leave—which in a less exhausted state we would have done in a heartbeat. When our tiny $15 Cosmos finally arrived, they were delicious. However, when my sister's thin slice of a flute baguette topped with a dab of chick purée showed up on a small side plate that dwarfed it, we are agreed it was indeed an "amuse bouche". Very funny—the joke is on us! At some length after that, the Bolognese Paparadelle finally showed up. Again, a huge white plate with a serving of pasta that looked more like an appetizer. No bread, no nothing. All this for a mere $28. Finally, a single slice of bread (really!) was brought to Michelle when she was half way through the pasta. Her plate from her "appetizer" was never removed. I joked with her that because there was a tiny speck of sauce left on the plate, the restaurant staff thought there was still a serving left. Michelle left hungry, and we all felt assaulted by the music and insulted by the lousy misogynistic service. The microscopic portions of food were good (I sure would hope so—it is Mario Batali's restaurant). I tried to send this feedback directly to B&B, but there is not email contact provided. Needless to say, we won't be back—ever—and we certainly do not desire to visit other Batali locations. Ciao, Baby!

Sistercation: Las Vegas, Part Two

A Sisters' Writing Trilogy, Part Two by Michelle

"Retail expert, Linda Townsend lives what seems to be a quiet life in the mostly gay outpost of Guerneville, California, hiring herself out as a mercenary "transporter" who moves goods - mostly alcohol and gourmet foods - from one place to another. No questions asked." ~Michelle

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle
To: Juliette
Cc: Linda
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 4:48 PM
Subject: This week's post

Dearest Hoolietta,
   I like your “Sistercation” post so far, but it is clear, my dear sister, that you are not "passionate" about your subject. I think you can build upon what you already wrote, but it needs some increased measure of enthusiasm or hate, or perhaps a little bit of both thrown in for entertainment value.
   Personally, I laugh every time I think about trying to write a riff on the book, "Who Pooped In The Park" that was available for purchase in the Red Rocks book store. There I go again, I'm laughing up a storm and I'm all by myself.
   I especially loved the line that you blurted out at Red Rocks that if Linda planned to drive a second loop of the park, that she should allow you to get out of the car so that you could lie down on the pavement and Linda could just run right over you. I was briefly awakened from my comfortable slumber in the front seat just long enough to hear you make your disgruntled comments to Linda in your Grandma Elsie voice before I quickly drifted back to sleep, blissfully unaware of any additional unpleasantries, while holding Linda's camera in my lap (some photo assistant I make.)
   You were definitely done with nature for the day. But, you never seemed to tire from seeing yet another stunning chandelier sprouting from an ornate ceiling. I still think Linda doesn't understand. She says tomato, you say tomahto, she says wildflower, you say crystal, but oh if we call the whole thing off then we must part, and oh, if we ever part, then that might break our hearts... wonder if Louis Armstrong would approve of the lyric changes? We'll never know. 

The Wynn

----- Original Message ----

From: Juliette

To: Linda; Michelle

Sent: Mon, May 16, 2011 5:06 PM

Subject: Re: This week's post

Michelle's mail sparked an idea, and I have found my sarcastic and irreverent voice again - remember, you asked for it!-)

   My blog post is going to be titled "Who Pooped In The Park? Adventures of the Salvation Sisters in Sin City". Buckle your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride. Now if I can just find the time to write it out while the idea is fresh in my head...

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle
To: Juliette; Linda
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 5:51 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

I'm totally cracking up, Juliette. Sounds as if the blog will be a real doozy. Yep, we asked for it. So, go on, go for it!

----- Original Message -----
From: Linda
To: Michelle; Juliette
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:06 PM
Subject: RE: This week's post

I say if you want to write the whole post, Juliette... I am good with that. Run with your idea (is that a lame pun or what)? Just remember, up until now we have managed to keep a PG rating. :-)

The lobby of the Venetian.

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle
To: Juliette; Linda
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:15 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

How do I spell blogger slacker? L-I-N-D-A.

-----Original Message-----
From: Juliette
To: Linda
Cc: Michelle
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:23 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

Yinda, I think it has to be all three of us! I will keep it PG-13.

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle
To: Juliette; Linda
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:25 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

We're like the three muskateers, except, you know, not male... all for one, and one for all.

The Venetian

----- Original Message ----
From: Linda
To: Juliette
Cc: Michelle
Sent: Mon, May 16, 2011 6:29 PM
Subject: RE: This week's post

I was just thinkin' that if you got rolling, no need to censor yourself. If it is funny, you can represent for the Sistercation!

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle
To: Linda
Cc: Juliette
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:45 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

Must I repeat myself? Blogger Slacker.

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle
To: Juliette; Linda
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:51 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

Maddie just said Juliette must have PG-13 confused with NC-17. Maddie's summer visits to Bisbee with her Aunt have left an indelible impression.

A gondolier at the Venetian.

----- Original Message -----
From: Michelle
To: Linda; Juliette
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 6:57 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

As we discussed last night, Linda... I like the direction that you took in the e-mail to Kerry (whom I like to refer to as our sister from another mother... and father). You must fit Bar Car into your post somewhere. I'm still stymied what I will do, but I'll be in Las Vegas next week, so it might help get me in the mood. Or perhaps I could find inspiration at the bottom of a stellar Hard Strawberry Lemonade that you introduced Juliette and me to during a happy hour in our fabulous Palazzo hotel room. I just so happen to have the ingredients on hand in my abundantly stocked and literally overflowing pantry. Its like it has taken on a life of its own.

---- Original Message ----
From: Juliette
To: Michelle; Linda
Sent: Mon, May 16, 2011 7:09 PM
Subject: Re: This week's post

What e-mail to Kerry?

---- Original Message ----
From: Michelle
To: Juliette
Cc: Linda
Sent: Mon, May 16, 2011 7:29 PM
Subject: Fw: Re: Hi there...

Appears that you are out of the loop, Juliette. Bummer for you… LOL. I'll send Kerry's e-mail separately because I am sooooo accomodating to your needs.

A ménage à trois love story: Linda, wildflowers and a tortoise.

----- Original Message ----
From: Linda
To: Michelle; Juliette
Sent: Mon, May 16, 2011 11:43 PM
Subject: Who Pooped in Red Rock Canyon Park?

Turns out that this book is very popular and has spawned a series that identifies various scat in national parks. Clearly the general public (and we sisters) never tire of scatological humor.

Who Pooped In Red Rock Canyon Park?
Mountain Lions
Bobcats
Coyotes
Desert Bighorn Sheep
Wild Burros
Jackrabbits
Pack Rats
Desert Tortoises
Northern Flickers
Great Horned Owls
Mojave Green Rattlesnakes
... and tourists. The author failed to mention tourists. Multitudes of tourists - about a million or so every year.

----- Original Message ----
From: Michelle
To: Linda
Cc: Juliette
Date: Tuesday, May 17, 2011, 7:53 PM
Subject: Products We Love: La Tur

I just wrote a glowing recommendation for La Tur cheese. I love that you transported it to Vegas in your Bar Car. I fondly recall scarfing La Tur in the hotel room slathered on La Panzanella Rosemary Crackers and washed down with that incredible Landmark Chardonnay. Come to think of it, Linda, perhaps you can star in "The Transporter 3: Invasion of the Bar Car".

----- Original Message ----
From: Linda
To: Michelle
Cc: Juliette
Sent: Tue, May 17, 2011 8:43 PM
Subject: Re: Products We Love: La Tur

Funny coincidence... I kinda look like Megan Fox, right? Is that the series she is in?
   Sandy in the Specialty department and I where just waxing rhapsodic about how much we love La Tur. She had me try brie by Delice this afternoon. OMG... my new favorite brie ever... so creamy with complex flavors. It will certainly be on the cheese tasting menu at Casa Linda.

The Fremont Street Experience.

---- Original Message ----
From: Michelle
To: Linda; Juliette
Sent: Wed, May 18, 2011 9:44 PM
Subject: Re: Products We Love: La Tur

I had no idea why you were dragging Megan Fox into the conversation until I realized that you thought I was referring to the movie "Transformers". I am relieved to figure out that you have not completely lost your mind.   
   "The Transporter" is an action vehicle (pun intended) for action star Jeremy Statham. So you do not remain any more ignorant than you already are about "important" pop culture icons, this is the storyline pulled from the pages of Yahoo! Movies:
   "Ex-Special Forces operator Frank Martin lives what seems to be a quiet life along the French Mediterranean, hiring himself out as a mercenary "transporter" who moves goods - human or otherwise - from one place to another. No questions asked. Carrying out mysterious and sometimes dangerous tasks in his tricked-out BMW, Frank adheres to a strict set of rules, which he never breaks. Rule One: Never change the deal. Rule Two: No names - Frank doesn't want to know whom he's working for, or what he's transporting. Rule Three: never look in the package..."
   Linda, your story line would go something like this:
   "Retail expert, Linda Townsend lives what seems to be a quiet life in the mostly gay outpost of Guerneville, California, hiring herself out as a mercenary "transporter" who moves goods - mostly alcohol and gourmet foods - from one place to another. No questions asked. Carrying mysterious ingredients and sometimes dangerous tasks in her 4-cylinder slightly-dented definitely-not-tricked-out Honda Civic, Linda adheres to a strict set of rules, which she never breaks. Rule One: Never change the deal. Rule Two: No names - Linda doesn't want to know whom she's working for, or what she's transporting (this knowledge might encourage an eating or drinking rampage with the cargo before its delivered, which would be bad for referrals). Rule Three: Never look in the package (see Rule Two). Rule Four: Always travel with a knife, cutting board, pitcher, citrus juicer, 8-oz glasses, tequila, triple sec, Italian sparkling lemonade and fresh limes for happy hour anytime, anyplace. If you need her help, simply call and say these words loudly and clearly, "Bar Car, por favor".

P.S. Maddie is reading over my shoulder and started riffing on the maddingly overplayed Lady Antebellum song, “Need You Now” with these new lyrics:

Hard Strawberry Lemonade

by Michelle

"Doubtless that God could have made a better berry (than the strawberry), 

but doubtless God never did."~William Allen Butler

   Doubtless there are better ways to spend an afternoon (than drinking a Hard Strawberry Lemonade), but this Sunday, perhaps just for today, I don't have to think of nary a one. I have mine right here and it tastes mighty fine. Cooling, refreshing with a slight fizz. Come dream a little dream with me.

Hard Strawberry Lemonade

Whole Foods Market Lemon Italian Soda
1-1/2 ounces fragolino, preferably homemade
1 Tbsp POM Wonderful™ pomegranate juice

Procedure:
1. Fill a glass with ice. Add the fragolino and fill with Lemon Italian Soda. Add POM Wonderful. Let your cares slip away.

Sistercation: Las Vegas, Part One

A Sisters' Writing Trilogy: Part One by Linda

Suspended riders whiz by on the zip lines at the Fremont Street Experience.

"Open up the sky...

It’s windy and our family needs a ride

I know we’ll be just fine

When we learn to love the ride"

     ~Immunity Island

   Juliette, Michelle and I have not spent time alone without children or spouses in over 10 years. So when Michelle found out that she would be working at a convention in the last part of April in Las Vegas, and lodging would be at The Venetian, the idea of a "Sistercation" was born.
   Juliette and I both have our complicated domestic and work entanglements that always prove tricky when it comes to planning a vacation. We knew the stars were smiling in our favor when we had a solid plan created, days requested off (and approved), pet care arranged and plane tickets were purchased for Michelle and Juliette. 

  Juliette had never been to Las Vegas before. I on the other hand, having been to Vegas a few times, decided to drive in order to enjoy a rare road trip, and also, to make a real effort to cut expenses for us all. This much I knew...Vegas is expensive.
   A luxury vacation in Vegas on a budget requires a strategy. The plan that I evolved was for me to be the rolling "car bar" for the Sistercation. And in fact, when I did pull into the hotel parking, the valet gave me a ticket for 19 items that would be taken up to our room. He also was mighty interested in the very large box of alcoholic beverage bottles that he pulled out of the trunk. He asked if I was having a big party. I confirmed that I was. He wanted to know what kind of party. I told him it was a long delayed reunion, and that we planned to party like rock stars. From his approving expression, I gathered that partying like rock stars never gets old in Vegas.

Showtime, in more ways than one, at the Fremont Street Experience.

   Since it was my vacation, I decided to splurge on a motel room, and spend the night prior to driving into Vegas, in Bakersfield,CA. Although this overnight stay would add another $100 to my expenses, this, I thought, would allow me to arrive a little ahead of Juliette and Michelle the next evening, without having to complete the eleven hour journey in just a single day. 

The desert in bloom at Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area.

   I also wanted to be able to take my time driving through the long stretch of the Mojave Desert that comes after you depart Bakersfield and head east. I know that this sounds like an odd place to be savoring the scenery, but our mother's maternal grandfather, Daniel Rhea Igo, had come with his mother and brother to live in the desert town of Daggett when he was just a boy in the late 1800s.
   The town of Daggett was originally founded in the 1880s just after the discovery of silver in area mines. For two years, it was the terminal of the twenty-mule team run from Death Valley. Not only did silver define Daggett's history, but borax was also important to the city's economy. The borax was being mined, around the turn of the century, out of the Calico Hills nearby.
   I remember my grandmother, Maxine, telling me when I was a girl about the famous mule teams that hauled borax ore out in the desert when her father was growing up. So on this part of the drive, I turned off my audio book as I passed through these modern day ghost towns, and I conjured up visions of departed ancestors from my family's history and teams of shiny black mules bearing heavy loads from the mines under the relentless sun, while trailing clouds of dust curling behind their pounding hooves.


Our mother and her grandfather, Daniel Rhea.

   In my mind's eye I could see a young divorcee with billowing skirts, standing up to scandal and heartbreak with all the grit she could muster, as she stepped off the train with her two young sons in tow. How must they have felt, arriving in the midst of an arid desert, fresh from the green and trees of Ohio, to make a new home for the three of them in this parched wasteland? And why Daggett?


Looking towards Las Vegas in Red Rock Canyon NCA.

   The answer to that, is that my great-great grandmother's brother was the town's doctor and pharmacist. Being a divorced woman in those times, I am sure her relocation options were few. In later years the family would relocate again to Redlands, California, where my grandmother would be born in a huge Victorian house on a prominent corner of the downtown in 1913. In the following decades, four generations of our family would be born in the Golden State. 


The view from our room on the 44th floor at The Palazzo.

  So it was that my aging Honda Civic made its way into the land of shimmering skyscrapers in the late afternoon of a breezy spring day. After securing a room upgrade to the new tower at The Venetian called the Palazzo, and procuring a small refrigerator that the hotel wanted to charge us $25 per day for (oh puleeze!), I was ready to mix up my Layered Cosmopolitans, and then store away the fancy cheeses such as La Tur, salumi, flatbreads, pickled veggies, olives, cornichons, chocolate bars, English toffee and other assorted treats that I had brought along for cocktail hour and room picnics. 

   Out our 44th floor window, the view was simply stunning. We not only were just off the Strip, but had a vista down the Strip that gave way to the lavender-colored mountain range in the distance. I didn't have long to wait before I greeted my sister's with chilled cocktails in hand. Let the Sistercation commence!

  Vegas touts itself as having something for everyone. But the mighty marketing arm of Vegas visitor promotion agency seems to have had a bout of schizophrenia over the years. Is it a PG family paradise, or is it indeed Sin City with the need for what happens there to stay there?

   Since returning from our sister's visit to this desert city of dubious origin, I believe we would all affirm the fact that Vegas does indeed have something for everyone, and it can be just about anything that one has the cash to pay for, and desire to experience. On this we could all agree: we were all just happy to be together. Everything else would require a little sisterly give and take.
   To be continued next week with Part Two by Michelle...